Pretty cute, yes. This time I was darker in my approach to scanography.
First I tried to create some sort of narrative (which I think just spawned from the first objects that I could tie connections between in my room).
I've been thinking of ways to visualize my thought process and how it almost perpetually sounds like there are multiple versions of myself talking at once. Not thinking, but talking, out loud. I will be having a conversation with someone in person but, internally, a complete different exchange is occurring. When I've finished speaking a sentence to someone out loud, the phrase reverberates in my inner ear, repeating like a skipping CD, like reading a sentence you've just sent to someone on chat over and over again. There will be silence between me and someone else in a room, and I will speak to them with my mind, and they will speak back with phantom words that will never actually exist.
And even when I am alone, my thoughts are jittery, garbled images and words, both broken film reels from the past and staticky visions of the future.
This image pretty accurately represents how the inside of my head feels a lot of the time. Truly, existence feels this dire, this stark, this apocalyptic. Part of me is deeply regretting the art project I've started. It's taking up way too much of my time, time that I thought I had to fill. I thought the stress would be good, that it would encourage me to work on all the other tasks I've lined up for the summer, but honestly it's just hindering me at some point. I'll probably have to postpone a lot of the projects until the very end of August.
WOO Yeah this is quite a heavy post so I'll end with a picture of me chasing after a Penny Board because I can't stay on a skateboard to save my life.